#fortloser pyro

[fortloser]

can the other mercenaries answer the ask too :)c? I want to ask heavy how his guns are doing

"Is silly question, heavy always takes good care of gun! why would gun be doing bad? heavy cannot crush tiny baby men if gun is doing bad."

[fortloser]

Hello!

To anyone from the team who wants to answer this: what are yall's favorite thing to do when you're bored? Or just something you do often to pass time? Have a good day/night - 🐈

Scout here!

It's been a hot minute since we shared anything, and let me tell you something, it's been bizz-ay! Trust me, most of these guys don't really have anything going on for them (unlike me because I'm awesome!!) That's why we gather around for poker every sunday. It's a decent way to end the week, i guess.

But i had to take the stupid picture. Can you believe that?? Medic can be such douche, apparently not knowing how poker works is enough to exclude me from the photo!

Anyway, everyone was having a great time until Sniper kept cheating the guys out of their money. (the dude is banned from at least 26 different casinos all around the globe) way to ruin the fun jackass! Bet you're real popular at parties,,

//this is scout signing off

[fortloser]

the mercenaries favourite animal?

Hallo everyone! It is me, the medic!

There are plenty of animal lovers among us! Herr Demo owns a pet bunny named Wick, as far as I'm aware it is also his favorite animal. Pyro enjoys any animal really but they love strays and Herr Heavy likes to pretend he hates cats but I saw him cuddling with that stray some time after I took this photo.

Herr Sniper seems to enjoy them the most, or do the animals enjoy him? I have this ongoing theory his pungent unique oder makes him more appealing to animals,,

the soldier has his rather rotund dog, I could not tell you what breed the mutt is supposed to be,, Our engineer seems to be an animal lover as well, he grew up on a farm after all! Though he appears to have a soft spot for pigs, I don't get the appeal but to each their own. Spy and Scout dont seem that fond of animals though.

And that leaves me as last, well I don't think it bears repeating but I love birds! All of them are lovely, gentle, majestic creatures that deserve love. Chickens however are in a league of their own in my humble opinion! I love them the most! I've always loved chickens, when I was still a youth my father kept chickens in his backyard and I'd often find myself among them studying or reading as they sat around me. When I left for America my father gave me one of them so I always had something to remind me of home. Greta and Bertha are the second generation stemming from that very Hen.

Stay healthy!

With kind regards, medic

[fortloser]

[note from medic: apologies to the person who screamed "SCOUT YOURE A BADDIE" I accidentally deleted it when I tried to post scouts message for you]

Flattery gets you anywhere toots, so here’s a little gift from me to you. a genuine Jermaine Arnoult batter-up pic from before I joined the team. My friends and I used to break into the baseball stadium just to mess around, and one of them took this picture of me. better hold onto it tight, it's gonna be worth thousands.

Speaking of baddies, GI JOE has to wear an ankle monitor for now, he’s not allowed to go anywhere outside of the BLU territory. and lemme tell you something, he has NOT been taking it well. yesterday he tried chewing his own leg off and today he convinced demo to blow it up. problem is it ended up being the wrong leg. man am i glad im not him right now!

/this is scout signing off!

[fortloser]

How's the rest of the team?

Hello everyone! It's me again, the medic.   Our team morale has declined due to a long streak of losses. I recently got reassigned because of issues relating to their previous medic. And though they may look headstrong from the outside, spending time with them will show you a different picture. However, I do strongly admire their persistence, team #2307 has the longest-known loss streak of both Red and BLU combined! I’m honestly surprised we haven't been disbanded yet.

Getting up every day knowing you will lose isn't easy and the others don't make it easy either, the Soldier is always barking unreasonable orders, the pyro enjoys the ability to friendly fire a little too much, scout and spy are always arguing (poor boy, I do feel bad for him and fear the powers that reunited him with his father in this manner), sniper and the Demoman are always drunk or causing chaos somewhere. I don't have any major complaints about our heavy and our engineer (god bless his soul) is trying his best to keep us together as a team.

with kind regards, medic

[fortloser]

Who usually does the chores around base? :]

(Absolutely love this blog so far btw!! The SFM work is awesome and the characters are portrayed so well!)

Hello everyone! It's me, the Medic! 

For big cleanups (scorch marks, large jarate spills, debris from fights, etc.… ) we have a janitor. However, we are responsible for the more mundane chores like laundry and doing the dishes. I wish I could tell you that everyone does their chores on time without complaining but I don't think I could stomach a lie like that my friend.

Scout usually does the dishes, Demo and Heavy do laundry, Soldier and Sniper are on garbage duty, and engineer fixes the pumbling and other things around the base.

Pyro always picks up the slack of others though, perhaps a little too frantically? I regularly catch them cleaning up a mess that isn't even there and nights where I can hear them vacuum in the distance aren't a rarity. It's not that they are scared of germs (far from it actually, they spend most of their time with Scout and Soldier!), but they have this need for things to be the way they were before. I do find this behavior worrying.

Stay healthy! With kind regards, Medic

transcript of medics private note:

"I wish I could help them in some way, but they do not trust me. I must admit it hurts when they accept a bandaid warily. I must be even nicer tomorrow."

[fortloser]

This blog seems super fun- I cannot wait to see where this goes!

Wish you folks the best of luck with the public, and I hope y'all have a good time :]

Hallo everyone! medic here!

I'm so glad to hear you have been enjoying our posts. I was very nervous to start this account and seeing all the love and support has warmed my small German-shaped heart,tough I think the general public has a much lesser opinion of us at the moment… Scout and the other two idiots just got arrested and we had to bail them out this morning, scout said he would add his side of the story once we got back to base. There are some drawings these hooligans made at the bottom of the post.

stay healthy!

with kind regards, medic

note from medic: as usual I had to correct scouts message

Oh man, you will not BELIEVE the day I had, so I woke up and the first thing I hear is soldier screaming at me to “GET IN THE VAN MAGGOT” like good morning to you too douchebag, and before I know it im getting shoved in the bed of the truck because the other freak wanted to ride shotgun. So we get to the store and you know it goes pretty smoothly. We fill up our carts and we realize at the checkout that nobody brought the team's credit card, in a moment of silent understanding we all rush out of the store with our carts to the truck and throw in as much as we can. After that it uh,, gets a little fuzzy, the cops show up, I got a couple of swings in (they hit me in the face!), there was a chase and then we landed in jail. Nurse and Pissy Pants had to come bail us out. and to add salt to injury Nurse gave us crayons and our mugshots to draw on during the drive back. He said something about us being childish and never letting us get groceries together ever again, what a jerk!

/anyway, we just arrived back and I can hear Hardhat shouting so this is me signing off!